“Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
I guess I am what some would call a late bloomer in life. I am only now at a point on my path that by some people’s standards would deem me as successful; while others might say I am just starting out, a newbie. I get feedback all the time that tells me so.
I guess the question is how do we really know when we have made it? How does a person discern when they have attained enough money, power or fame or whatever they are striving for?
That is really what it boils down to. It’s our perception or discernment of where we are on some imaginary goal marker that others decided to hold us to and we will get “rewards” come when we have reached a goal or an important milestone. I know I was taught to think this way in my younger years and only recently came to see the harm to my emotional well-being that this pattern of thinking has had on me as the pressure to get “there” wore me down both physically and mentally. Once I took time to heal I began to understand that we are made to find our own way, not the way of others. It feels like manipulation and control to me now when others exert pressure to get me to do it their way. Cinderella`s shoe did not fit everybody, just Cinderella, but that did not seem to stop several people from trying it on. Seems silly to me to even try to be something I am not.
Deepak Chopra writes about “the myth that success is the result of hard work, exacting plans, or driving ambitions“, in his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. To accomplish that kind of success, one must apply mental pressure on a continual basis and I don’t know about you but I need to relax and have fun once in a while or I get cranky!
What I discovered instead for myself is that the pace was just not worth the cost of my health, my peace of mind or my relationships to succeed the way I was brought up to believe in. When the aforementioned started to go south I had to quickly reevaluate what I wanted for myself and my family.
I began to get an inner knowing that was telling (yelling at) me to stop following the advice of others and start following the pulls (urges) that I was so accustomed to push aside and little by little I was lead to a way of living that suits me to a “T”. I love my life now. I am full of gratitude for the little things that bring me more laughter, more peace, and more joy in my existence here on Earth. We are alive…might as well enjoy the ride!
The goals I set for myself today are more in line with doing everything I can in this day that is a step in the right direction for the life vision I want and I do not need to compete for status or power because it is an autonomous goal I have set to achieve. Instead of racing to get to the top of a corporate ladder or make myself into something I am not, I use my faith as my guidance to know by how I feel, when I need to act on the email offer or a request to do something that is in alignment with my mission to be the change I wish to see in the world. If it does not fit, I will not do it, period.
By holding this vision firmly in my mind every day as I go about my ordinary tasks I am amazed at the magnetic pull that brings to me all that I desire and gratefully even more than that! I like the ease and flow of the way the day unfolds rather than forcing myself to do the tasks that are at odds with my integrity.
By conditioning my mind with conscious meditation and journaling followed by a high octane, nutritious brain food and the water that my body craves, I set myself up for success and I can accomplish more in a day than in previous years under the constant stress of group performance and disregard of fueling for energy. These are the things, along with a quick break and a walk in nature that sets me up for success now as I know it to be for myself.
I then look and feel my best and it exudes from me when I have conditioned my mind to be conscious, curious and grateful and this makes my thoughts attractive to the Universe. I get what I am asking for and it shows up when I do the work of this daily routine.
This is not to say that I maintain a perfect score on some daily success checklist I have fashioned for myself.
Not at all!
I am not perfect.
I wake up some days to a day I over-scheduled and do not have time for the meditation, journaling or the luxury of a walk in nature. Those days I chug the water, grab the coffee and run out the door and the day unfolds with strife and angst as I elbow my way through the day and intercede with others who are vibrating with stress or worry written all over their faces too.
We attract what we think about and it is illustrated in how we feel and what shows up.
At least self-awareness can help us to turn the tide, so to speak, and we can get back on track very easily if we do things without resistance. Then instead of effort on our part, if we soften and allow the day to be what it will be and take actions then that will result in our achieving a goal or receiving the money or getting the recognition. It really is a beautiful thing to relax and enjoy life on its own terms.
Sometimes, however, courage is required if we have not been treated kindly in the past. Then success looks too far off and unattainable. I remember being afraid of success in my twenties and thirties and I had such low self esteem that was put there by others that I could not believe that I could do anything more then what looked ordinary to most. It was a “us and them“, rich or poor kind of skewed image.
Gradually this has worked its way out of my thinking and I know I can be, do or have whatever I put my mind to because I am the creator of the way my life unfolds with every thought I think and decision I make.
That is not to say, that I pulled off my timid cape and embraced public speaking or boldly walked into the interview or even spoke up for what I wanted all the time.
Sadly, no, I had to learn how to feel safe first in a world that can be overwhelming to a sensitive soul and take that deep breath and Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways as the title of a wonderful read, by Susan Jeffers conveys. She talks about this conditioning of the mind for positivity to make better decisions all the while giving yourself permission to do the things that compel you. That puts you back in the driver’s seat and on the road to success without the negative self talk and worry that can send you off into the bushes.
We can teach our kids, too, that it starts with our minds, our conscious attitudes and the decision to be successful.
`Thoughts are things`.
Happiness is an attractive quality and successful people are happy. My children have all read the kids book by Carol McCloud, Have You Filled a Bucket Today, and learned the concept of kindness and being conscious of others as well as building self esteem and I think that is why they are well liked at school and even are chosen for such honors as Student of the Month awards.
In their own ways they are successful because they think in a different way. I am teaching them to claim their personal power so they can meet challenges head on. If only more of us had this boost in the beginning of our lives. This is a desire I have for the youth today. That they get to hear a positive message that resonates for them and starts them out on their own journey of awareness and self discovery so they learn what authentic power feels like. When we all get to this place, I believe, that will be a huge success and we will know peace on Earth.
Renée Harrison is an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach who loves to hear about the human condition to find what sustains our motivation to achieve personal fulfillment and would love to hear your story. Contact her by email firstname.lastname@example.org or contact her at her website at www.reneeharrison.ca and tell her YOUR secrets to success.
*The opinions of the author offered are for informational purposes only and are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, dietary supplement, exercise, or other health program.